An Open Letter to Jason Katims

Dear Mr. Katims,

Some may know you as Jason Katims, Showrunner/Executive Producer of Friday Night Lights and Parenthood. But I have a different designation for you: Destroyer of Inherent Manliness.

I have ingested all of the work you’ve done on these two shows, sometimes in Netlfix-binge fashion, and I should start by telling you that I love it. But that does not go without its problems. You see, Mr. Katims, almost every episode of these television shows leaves me in crippling tears. But the tears are not the biggest issue. The biggest problem is that I know I am going to cry, I just don’t know when it’s going to hit me. And I can’t do anything about it.

 

You made us (‘us’ being the collective population of FNL/Parenthood viewers) fall in love with characters who seemed ancillary in the beginning. By the end of the show, we couldn’t imagine a world without them. Landry Clarke and Amber Holt became the moral backbones of these shows and helped produce some of the subtly great moments in their respective runs.

The way you set these scenes up is almost scientific. In a sense, the scenes are, dare I say, procedural (the dreaded word for any showrunner to hear not named Dick Wolf).

The episode starts with a problem: Somebody’s missing! Somebody’s pregnant! What do we do about so-and-so’s problems in school! But the story leads to a moment, or a series of moments, in the last ten minutes of the episode.

Some moments don’t need words. The context provided in the episode is enough for the viewer. There is a small warning here, though. Slowly, the music builds up. For Friday Night Lights, it was typically instrumentals from Explosions in the Sky. For Parenthood, it’s Iron & Wine (or at least a band that sounds exactly like Iron & Wine) featuring soft vocals and a gentle strum of an acoustic guitar. We take a deep breath, because we understand the moment is about to hit us like a ton of bricks. And then we watch as Matt Saracen grabs the shovel to start burying his estranged father, or Kristina pulls Adam aside as she silently breaks the news of her cancer diagnosis.

But subtly, you string together a sentence that makes us fall part. Never too wordy, but again, the context can knock you over. Do you remember when Smash told his mother while fighting back tears, “I’m goin’ to college, Mama”? And when Adam tells an oblivious Zeke, in regards to his son Max’s apparent autism, “There’s something wrong with him, Dad”? Just like that, you’re reaching for your bed sheets to dry your eyes.

I can list several more moments (Drew hugging Sarah in the wake of Amy’s pregnancy, a drunken Saracen screaming to Coach Taylor “Everybody leaves me!”, etc.) but I think you get the point. We are powerless to your design. You have increased my awareness of my vulnerability. Also, you’ve insulted my manhood while making me question whether or not it was actually ever there. What I am really trying to convey is I don’t know whether I want to give you a hug or punch you in the groin. But regardless I will continue to watch the television you produce, either as a test of your experiment or a case of a sad addiction.

Sincerely,

Eddie Rose

Ranking Uniforms: NFL

Ah, the NFL, home to the best uniforms in sport overall. The best uniforms in the NFL embrace simplicity with regards to color and patterns. The logo on the side of the hat in many instances can make a uniform go from decent to great. Let's get to it!

Last place: New England - the current uniforms are a joke. Please get rid of Flying Elvis on the hat and go back to Pat the Patriot. I do not know why there is navy or silver on a team's uniform that is supposed to be "patriotic".

Honorable Mention: Pittsburgh Steelers, Indianapolis Colts, New York Jets

5. New York Giants

The Giants own one of the best road unis in the NFL. The red stripes on the arms are a great touch, as are the grey pants. I love the lowercase NY on the side of the hat as well. It helps that they seem to play better on the road than at home. Points off for the home blues not being as strong as the road whites.

4. Kansas City Chiefs


The red and yellow is awesome. The stripes on the pants are great. The arrowhead on the hat are even better. Chiefs fans have had little to celebrate with regards to their team recently, but at least a great fan base is rewarded with some good looking jerseys.

3. Washington Redskins


Burgundy and gold. So glad they brought back the gold pants to almost full-time. There is nothing left to say.

2. Oakland Raiders


The silver and black are another great pair. Specifically the silver numbers. The citizens of the Black Hole have had even less to celebrate than the Arrowhead faithful. But these jerseys remain delightful. (Side note: Darren McFadden probably got hurt on this play.)

1. San Francisco 49ers


Without debate, this is the NFL's best uniform and second to only the Chicago Blackhawks in all of sport. A rare instance where the current uniform is a million times better than the '90s version (those cartoonish numbers were gross). The helmet is perfection personified.

Thanks to everyone for reading these. It was fun. Maybe at some point in the future I'll get to the college football and basketball unis!

New York Mets and WWE

Between the years of 2007 and 2012, the New York Mets put their fan base through unimaginable hardships. In 2007, we saw the Mets give up a 7 game lead with only 17 to play. In 2008 we experienced another collapse which to some may have been worse, considering each day you were expecting them to turn the corner. Prior to the 2009 season, Sports Illustrated had chosen the Mets to win the World Series. They could not have been more wrong. The Mets lost nearly their entire starting lineup to injuries and finished the season with a 70-92 record. They finished 4^th place in their division from 2009-2011 and although 2012 saw a similar outcome, it was the dawn of a new era. Although MLB blackout violations prevented me from PAYING MONEY to watch the Mets lose the majority of their games, I somehow managed to follow every inning during that span. As the Mets continued to disappoint their fans, it was becoming more and more difficult to follow them on a daily basis. After countless hours of reading horror stories via Metsblog, I desperately needed a new outlet for entertainment.

In 2012, a friend of mine called me and shouted, “DUDE! ARE YOU WATCHING WRESTLING?!?!” I immediately turned on the USA Network and saw the Undertaker standing face to face with Triple H in the middle of the ring. All of the sudden, it seemed as if the clock had been turned back 10 years as I was standing in the middle of my room wondering to myself why I ever stopped watching the show that consumed most of my childhood. I quickly logged on to the WWE website to read about current feuds. At the time, WWE had a new face of the company, a man named CM Punk. I couldn’t understand how this smaller, rugged-looking guy could have become the champion. That is, until I did some reading of my own.

CM Punk throws out first pitch at Citi Field.

CM Punk at the time was the perfect example of what it felt like to be a Mets fan. After years of suffering brought about by a poor management team, he knew it was time for a change. Although he was in the company for a number of years, he was never given the chance to become the WWE champion. On June 27, 2011, CM Punk delivered what is now referred to as the famous “Pipebomb” promo. For those of you who don’t know, CM Punk aired his grievances with the company on live television. His speech was delivered so perfectly that it is considered by many to be one of the best promos in recent memory.

While things began to change in the WWE, much was the same for the New York Mets. Five years had gone by since the 2006 NLCS and yet many still saw Carlos Beltran as the root of all the Mets’ problems. As far as the fan base was considered, as long as he was around, they were destined to be nothing more than a collection of talented athletes either past their prime or nowhere near it. Around the same time that CM Punk delivered his “Pipebomb,” the Mets were fortunate to have a player by the name of Jose Reyes. Reyes was in the middle of a career season posting a .341 batting average, 61 runs, 113 hits, 14 triples, and 26 stolen bases. Although not many had expected the Mets to do much, they were on the verge of turning things around and Reyes was a major part of it. Meanwhile, Carlos Beltran was beginning to put up consistent numbers that were good enough to change his reputation in the eyes of the common Mets fan.

During Jose Reyes' hot streak, the WWE Champion at the time was John Cena. John Cena, although he is considered to be an all-time great (ala Carlos Beltran), was defined by what he didn’t do rather than what he did do. During the Mid-2000’s WWE experienced an era commonly known as the PG-Era. During this time, John Cena led the pack offering a clean version of what a WWE champion should look like. Although Cena is, as I said earlier, an all-time great, many individuals specifically from my generation, view his character as a “corn-ball.” It was a cheesy gimmick that made fans second-guess their way of life as they sat on their couch week after week to watch a grown man rhyme worse than a Dr. Suess impersonator.

Thankfully, CM Punk came to change the company. On July 17, 2011 he defeated John Cena to win his first ever WWE championship. Only ten days later, Carlos Beltran was traded to the San Francisco Giants for a player named Zack Wheeler. At the time, most Mets fans were unaware of how good Wheeler could be, but what they did know was that things were beginning to take shape. The same could be said for WWE. When CM Punk won the title, most assumed it wouldn’t last long and expected management to somehow screw up the momentum. Fortunately, they were all wrong. CM Punk went on to hold the title for an astounding 434 days until ultimately losing to The Rock at Royal Rumble. John Cena than regained the title by defeating The Rock at a Wrestlemania 29, which in my opinion was one for the history books. 

Today, Wheeler and Punk represent the future for their respective franchises. The New York Mets as well as the WWE seem to be in the final stages of the rebuilding process. With WWE Summerslam (Pay-Per-View) approaching quickly, a fan-favorite underdog by the name of Daniel Bryan, will look to defeat the great John Cena to capture his first ever WWE championship. Although a Mets championship may not occur for quite some time, it is clear to see that the next great era is just around the corner. During the mid-80’s the New York Mets experienced the most success in the organization’s history. The best comparison, in WWE terms, would be the era known as the Attitude Era. It remains to be seen if both companies will enter into another golden age but the signs are right in faces of their fans. If you can’t see this... well, than you just haven’t been paying attention. In the words of my father, there are three things that matter most: family, friends and the New York Mets. Give me Daniel Bryan winning the WWE championship and a Stone Cold Steve Austin return and maybe, just maybe, I will add WWE to that list. Let’s go Mets!

Ranking Uniforms: MLB

Once again, simplicity is the key to my heart for a great uniform. And, if you have taste, the key to the rest of your hearts. So like, a master key, really.

Also, the caps really matter. Maybe not as much as football helmets, but they matter. More on that later. On to my the world's rankings.

Important Note: Teams are over-using the pinstripes. They are fine as an alternate but some of the wrong teams are trotting them out there too much (Lookin' at you, Minnesota). Except the Rockies. Can't figure it out, but I love when the Rockies wear pinstripes.

Last place: San Diego - I base these rankings mainly on the home and road jerseys, but the camo alternates are dreadful enough to send the Padres to last. But the home and road jerseys don't really do it for me anyway. Besides, time to leave the Marlins alone for once. Poor guys.

Honorable Mention: Chicago White Sox, San Francisco Giants, Pittsburgh Pirates

5. Boston Red Sox


These uniforms are classic. The navy and red on white is a standard of baseball tradition. The old-timey 'B' on the cap is brilliant. Now I am going to wash my mouth out with soap. Apologies to my fellow Yankee fans.

4. St. Louis Cardinals



The Cardinals make up for an inherently wimpy mascot with a great logo: The two Cardinals resting on the baseball bat. The white and red is majestic. The most tightly run organization in baseball deserves a great get-up such as this.

3. Oakland A's
 

A's own the best hat in baseball, the green and gold make for a wonderful combination, and of course, those white cleats. Oh baby. There is a reason this jersey has been unchanged for so long.

2. New York Yankees



Hey look, it's the Greatest of All Time! Everyone pay your respect to Mariano. But seriously, the Yanks pull of the pinstripes the best. It's a very simple look, but an iconic one at that. There is no bias here, it's a great uniform.

1. Los Angeles Dodgers


So the royal blue is great against the pure white, the 'Dodgers' script across the chest reminds us of Brooklyn and Jackie Robinson, and the uniform is generally a great fit for the city of Los Angeles. But above all else, it's the red numbers on the front that make these jerseys sing.


I'm going to do the NFL next. AKA, our national pastime.

Ranking Uniforms: NBA

Part 2 of the Uniform Rank: NBA
The key to a great uniform on the field or on the court is the simplicity of the color scheme and layout. Nowhere is this more apparent than the NBA.

An important note: Phoenix, Miami, Indiana, Houston and Dallas would have a better chance at the top 5 if they wore their throwbacks as their primary uniforms. Especially Miami.

Last Place: Phoenix Suns (see above note) - these jerseys may be the worst in sports. But they're apparently adding sleeves. So, ew.

Honorable Mention: Utah Jazz, Chicago Bulls, Washington Wizards (only penalized because it's hard to read the players' numbers)

5. Cleveland Cavaliers

Wouldn't be listed without the brilliant addition of the throwback style. The colors are perfect and the stripes help them compliment each other. Heck, even Tyler Zeller looks normal in this attire.
(Away>Home>Alt Away)

4. Golden State Warriors

Throwback elements help the stock of this uniform as well. The return of the Golden Gate Bridge logo containing the number along with the classic royal blue and gold is beautiful. This jersey is hurt by introducing sleeves to NBA uniforms. Like, really though?
(Away>Home)

3. Portland Trail Blazers

A theme among the top 5 (Golden State notwithstanding) is the classic look of the round collar on an NBA jersey. Portland typically sports this look along with a great logo on the shorts and a classic diagonal stripes on the shirt.
(Home>Away)

2. Boston Celtics

A spot that would be reserved for the Lakers if they were to rock the classic uniforms full-time. But Boston keeps the classic green and white and shines on the court without trying to do too much.
(Home>Away)

1. New York Knicks

The white trim on the classic blue and orange jersey symbolizes Madison Square Garden in the '60s and '70s, Walt Frazier, Willis Reed, and Dave DeBusschere. If Carmelo's primary influence for forcing a trade to New York was the uniform, I don't blame him. (A much better reason than going for his wife's reality TV career.)
(Away>Home)

Please leave a comment, and join me next time for the MLB uniform rank!

Ranking Uniforms: NHL Sweaters

Join me as I rank the top 5 uniforms in each sport! Our start: NHL Sweaters.

Look, I'm not gonna pretend that I know a ton about hockey. But boy do those sweaters look good out on the ice, and my expertise, much like that of the great Dave Dameshek, lies in determining which of these sweaters is the greatest. The words written below are fact, but feel free to complain them in the comments section!

Last Place: Minnesota Wild

Honorable Mention: Detroit Red Wings, Toronto Maple Leafs, Vancouver Canucks

5. New York Rangers

 

The most patriotic option available. All logos are great, home and away jerseys are equally majestic, and the navy alternates are not far behind. The stripes on the sleeves are timeless.
(Home>Away)

4. Boston Bruins



No logo much better than the iconic B on the Bruins jersey. Yellow and black unis often carry a classic feel. The jerseys bring you back to the days of the great Bobby Orr, but also align with the fierce and modern Chara-led defense.
(Away>Home)

3. Montreal Canadiens



Another solid logo for another Original 6 team, but the blue stripe behind the logo is what separates this sweater of the NHL franchise with the most Cups. Only Canadian club to crack the top 5.
(Away>Home)

2. Philadelphia Flyers


God do I hate this team, but the Flyers are the only non-Original 6 squad to make the Unofficially Official Top 5. The brutes from Broad Street pull off the orange and black like no other in sports, and that glorious logo is another timeless gem.
(Away>Home)

1. Chicago Blackhawks



This uniform also happens to be the best get-up in sports. The stripes at the bottom of the jersey both Home and Away are brilliant and bring the black, red, and white together seamlessly. A good look for the team that hoisted the cup two of the last four years.
(Home>Away)


Disagree in the comments, and join me next time for the Basketball ranks.

NBA March Madness

Naturally at this time of year, all anyone can talk about is the NBA! So I brought in another man, Charlie Osborn, a man who also has a great affinity for Pro Hoops, to have a discussion about a variety of NBA stuff with Brian Musto and I. So, here's our three-man weave. Come see me Bill Simmons!

ER: Hello fellas, 

I don't know if the two of you are acquainted, but I know the three of us are basketball nerds, and we have the power to form the Holy Triumvirate of NBA-obsessed losers in an e-mail chain. "Reply all" in this joint if you know what I'm sayin'!

Before we get to the playoff picture and three-quarters-into-the-season thoughts (as well as our picks for awards), Brian, please deliver a eulogy for the 2012-2013 Philadelphia 76ers, as well as ideas on the future of Doug Collins, Andrew Bynum's looming free agency (what team will he end up on/what kind of contract?), and the future of the organization in general.

Tracy Morgan meets Fred Douglass

BM: The 76ers season was over before it started, but no one saw it coming. The front office thought they fleeced the NBA by dumping Iguodala and prospects for the most talented offensive center in the NBA. (Look at those prospects now). Doug Collins nearly burst at the Olympics when Doc Rivers told him the big man that gives the Celtics the most trouble is the big bruiser from Jersey. Then, I drafted him eleventh overall in our fantasy league, effectively ruining his career. 

All jokes aside, Doug Collins runs an offense stuck in 1992 prefaced on mid-range jumpers and constraining Jrue Holiday. The 3-year Collins effect has kicked in and his time in Philly is over. The organization has finally got itself out of neutral... and in to reverse. Every egg they had was placed into the Bynum Basket (hey its almost Easter right?), which now looks as barren as a Portland buffet after Ray Felton had his way last year. Jrue Holiday is the only bright spot left and is locked up to a good contract for the next 4 years. 

Who goes after Bynum? Philly won't want to lose him. Houston and Cleveland will inquire about him. He belongs with the miracle medical staff in Phoenix but I doubt he goes there. From the guy who once said "Every city has a bank right?" this is going to come down to the money. I cant see him getting more than 2 guaranteed years with a 3rd year team option at $10 mil per. However, I would not surprise me if he gets overpaid by a team and snags $15 mil for a year or 2. If I had to predict I would say he stays in Philly because they invested too much to let him walk. Honestly though, who knows?

 

CO: Yeah, that's pretty well said.

Doug Collins needs to kick rocks, Jrue Holiday, Thad Young, Charles Jenkins (QUEENS!), and Lavoy Allen (even though he hardly plays anymore) might be the only keepers on the roster. In short, the Sixers, as a team on the lower end of the free agent desirability spectrum, needed to gamble for a home run like Bynum. So far, fart noises.

If I were them, I would unabashedly tank next year in the absolute worst way. If they can manage to get a quasi-hometown discount (nah) and grab Bynum for reasonable cash, I literally would not play him one game next season no matter what. I would just tell him to sit down until next year, so there's no pressure to come back. This would serve the purpose of getting Bynum healthy, as well as to put themselves in the running for the #1 overall pick. That pick will mean more in 2014, because it will carry with it Andrew Wiggins, who might be alright at basketball when it's all said and done. A kid of clownish proportions, Wiggins will go #1 in 2014, would go #1 overall this year if he were eligible, and would have battled for #1 with Anthony Davis in last year's draft as a 16-17 year old. If the Sixers get that guy, they'll be fine.

However, even if they don't they should look to that draft for a cornerstone. Julius Randle, one of the Harrisons; they need cheap difference-making players. There are two ways to do things in the NBA: keep paying tons of money to get great players, fluctuate between being considered very good and a "huge disappointment" (big market teams), or to stink so freaking bad for an extended period of time that you can accrue players who are actually assets to your organization. Philadelphia has been too reticent to accept this inevitability, so they've been trying to act like the Knicks or Clippers or Celtics or what have you. I'm not denigrating the city, but for some reason NBA players don't seem to love it there.

Fire Collins and tank like good honest Americans for a Canadian prospect whose game resembles Len Bias. What could go wrong?

 

ER: Only problem with the tanking proposition is they would need to sit Thad and Jrue as well, I think those guys would keep them in the 10-14 pick range.

Ryen Russillo had an interesting thought this week (although it would likely start a riot at the NBAPA offices). If he were a league executive, he would offer Bynum a 3 years, $30M contract, and if Bynum quickly accepts, rescind the offer. Point being, Bynum will likely receive somewhere between 4 years, $44M and 4 years, $48 (by a panicking front office), and it will be a shock if he does not get offered that. If that's the asking price, Philly can't sign up for that.

Let's move to the top of the Eastern Conference Playoffs, namely New York, Indiana, and Boston. Who gets to 6 games with Miami? Dare I say a 7th game in any series? Basically my question in regards to the EC playoffs is: Is there anything really to discuss?

CO: I wouldn't pay that clown a dime, but if it's their prerogative to continue this charade with a 7 foot man with two hurt knees who jumps up and down for a living, who am I to step in?

In my opinion, there's nothing to discuss about the Eastern conference playoffs at all. I'm going to marvel at every single Miami loss. This is the most boring part of the season for everyone; for them to motivate themselves to challenge a modern NBA nigh-unbreakable record, it's going to be fascinating to see what level they can reach in the playoffs.

I think their longest series will be five games until the Finals, and I think the only teams who could take them to six games from West are probably Memphis and San Antonio.

 

BM: As a proponent of great fundamental basketball I'd like nothing more than a Spurs-Heat final. The Heat are about to "2000-01 Lakers" the East on their run to the finals. The interesting series will be the ones without the Heat. I'm hoping for a 2nd round (or maybe even 1st round) NYK/BKN series. I'd like to see Indiana play Boston so that I can just avoid 6 games of the playoffs. I doubt D. Rose plays so I'd like to see Chicago out. Boston is the team no east team wants to face early on, but I think they are right in the pack behind Miami and are not appreciably better than any of the other teams. I'll still watch every Miami game because LeBron is giving me stories to tell my grandkids on a daily basis. 

I'll be glued to the Western Playoffs.  OKC has not been perfect as of late and Kevin Martin is marred in a semi-slump that has a lot to do with his minutes. Every matchup will be gold. From SAS or OKC against HOU or LAL to the way Denver is playing and a Memphis team that imposes its will I am stoked. I think the worst team in the West Playoffs will be Golden State, and they could always shoot themselves to a few wins especially against the Clippers. 

If Parker is healthy I like the Spurs because barring an insane shooting night from Perkins and Ibaka I think they would have won that series last year. However, if Parker has any trouble getting back to health it would not surprise me if any of the 5 seeds made it to the finals simply because of the possible matchups. The Nuggets are not afraid of the Thunder. We have seen what Memphis can do to the Spurs. The Clippers just have not been could against top teams. I can't wait. I love playoff hoops so I am curious to here what you guys think.  How confident are you in OKC MIA rematch Eddie?

 

LeBron vs. KD Part II?

 

ER: Not confident in a MIA-OKC series at all, but truthfully I wasn't last year either. People often bring up the Ibaka/Perkins game as the reason OKC won the series, but it was James Harden, who the Spurs had absolutely no answer to. His surge coincided with Thabo picking up Parker full-time defensively, but Harden's playmaking was the catalyst for the Thunder. He is no longer there. I liked Martin before Brooks started inexplicably giving some of his minutes to Fisher. If he plays over 8 minutes a game, the writing is on the wall.

I like San Antonio to make the finals, because they play playoff defense and have a guy who you trust to make a play or score a basket (Parker). A good reason to pick the Grizzlies as well, but they don't know they have that kind of guy (Gasol). OKC doesn't play postseason defense, overuse guys with overrated "intangibles" (Perkins, Fisher), and don't run enough set plays, favoring iso ball from one of their two scorers. I've been avoiding it for years, but this is Scott Brooks aka Scotty Brooks aka Liam Neeson's fault.

Charlie, who do you like to actually come out of the West? Then give me your regular season awards.

 

CO: A person could reasonably take Denver out West because of its homecourt advantage, they could take Oklahoma City because they have the pedigree, drive, and Durant has only gotten better. They could take San Antonio because they're amazingly efficient both defensively and offensively (same pedigree argument there, too), or you could argue the Clippers simply based on the merits of Chris Paul (you remember him two years ago vs. the Lakers in the playoffs? He's sort of motivated.). Lastly, you could argue Memphis because they're just plain mean and they have the best overall big man currently in the game.

I'll take San Antonio. Tony Parker, a former NBA Finals MVP (thanks for letting him play against eric snow, damon jones, and boobie freaking gibson, whose names I refuse even to capitalize), has only gotten better. Tim Duncan doesn't need elaboration. And their "x-factor," Tiago Splitter, is playing for a contract. Add in Popovich and you got yourself a spicy, delicious soup.

MVP: LeBron James. Any discussion of this award is to sell advertising.

Defensive player of the year: Tim Duncan. This award, to me, is between Duncan and Hibbert, each of whom averages 2.7 blocks on fewer than 30 minutes per game. While "blocks" shouldn't be a reason to vote for a guy coughIbakacough, these two players get the type that stay in bounds for teammates to acquire. The two difference-makers: Duncan plays with Tiago Splitter while Hibbert plays with David West; comparatively, Duncan never fouls to garner those blocks. He is so tall, lengthy and smart he just forms a wall.

Rookie of the year: Damian Lillard. Davis is the better player, Lillard had more of an impact.

Coach of the year: Tom Thibodeau. The most provably-capable defensive wizard in history, this guy is fucking ridiculous. No Derrick Rose, no Omer Asik, dogshit guards, dealing with Carlos Boozer. There's really not enough you can say about this guy. Popovich is another choice because he's the best there ever was, and for him to manage Duncan's, Parker's and Ginobili's minutes the way he has has been appalling. You could argue Spoelstra, but no one ever will because DUDE HE BARLEY HAS 2 COACH HE HAS LEBRON. Mark Jackson is another name, because the two most useful basketball players on his team were either about to get hurt (Curry) or proactively injured (Bogut).

Sixth man of the year: If Tiago Splitter hadn't already started 45 games, I'd have picked him, but I suppose this is Crawford's award to lose. JR Smith will get tons of votes because he's been the Knicks' most useful overall guard this season, but his percentages will scare voters. Jack and Landry will cancel each other out in the Bay, Kevin Martin is the worst defensive player of all time, and JaVale McGee, active NBA leader in ratio of capital letters to lowercase letters in his name, has the type of reputation people don't vote for. Crawford.

Most improved player: Andray Blatche, the worst guy in the world.

Did I miss any? I'm at work, so I don't have the means to look much up, but those are what I got so far.

 

BM: MVP: The King. Will probably set the NBA record for most MVPs before it is all said and done. A guy everyone should make sure they appreciate. 

DPOY: Marc Gasol. Duncan is a solid pick but I honestly believe no player impacts the defense of their team more than Gasol. Fundamentally sound and an actual defensive player unlike Ibaka who makes all the wrong rotations and cheats for blocks. 

Rookie: This is Lillard in a landslide although Bradley Beal is an interesting player to keep an eye on going foward. He is markedly better with John Wall on the floor and looks like he might turn out to be the shooter many predicted. 

Coach of the Year: My toughest choice. Ever the contrarian I'd love to give it to Spo because the Lakers show just how hard it is to get a group of superstars to buy into each others games on a nightly basis and the Heat are on a tear. I'm giving it to Lionel Hollins. This Memphis team is not supremely talented but they work as hard as anyone and buy into Hollins tough defensive system. Team outside OKC and SAS with best chance to make a run in West. 

6th Man: Jarrett Jack. Surprised the heck out of me with the the season he has put together and makes Steph Curry so dangerous off the ball. Plus if you watch the end of GSW games it is Jack who is controlling the tempo and deciding who takes the last shots. 

Most Improved: James Harden. He won't win the award and by most standards he probably shouldn't. His teammate Omer Asik is probably more likely to win the award than Harden is. Want to know how much he improved in one year. In the offseason the Wizards refused to trade Bradley Beal straight up for him and the Warriors refused to trade Klay Thompson.

Always acting like total bros

CO: Great picks, but the reason the Warriors wouldn't trade for Harden it is because they couldn't afford to pay him. 

Harden is a good choice, but he is too good in the pick and roll to have that bad an assist to turnover ratio, and watching him play defense makes my eyes bleed like a Sam Raimi movie. But it's definitely close, and I wouldn't mind seeing him win. Great player, so fun to watch. He'll age like Paul Pierce, too.

Hollins and Gasol both rule, good calls.

 

ER: MVP: Plays for Miami, isn't Rashard Lewis. 

DPOY: SCREW YOU MUSTO FOR TAKING MY PICK. No offense Charlie, but I don't think it's close after Gasol and Noah, and it should be Gasol. In general, he is the most self-aware man on the floor, and makes every teammate better defensively. Great rotator, smart in transition, alters shots, LOUD communicator. Makes the Griz go on that end.

Rookie: It's Lillard, but I think both Davis and Beal will be better players when it's all said and done. This is coming from a guy who owns a shirt with 'ILLARD' on the front.

Coach: Spo. But I'm tempted to say Pop. I think he only has one in his career.

6th man: I also think it's Jack. This is his best season, and he's also the second best guy on the floor for that struggling team. Every time I watch them, seems like they force 30-footers to Curry every possession.

Most improved: Based on the last two weeks alone I would argue Monta Ellis (I won't get fooled by contract years). I guess it's Harden, but I'd rather talk about his teammate Chandler 'Handsome' Parsons. Man is that squad fun to watch.

Chuck, lets hear your All-NBA teams (off and def)

 

CO: Gasol is a great player for sure. I think he has defensive player of the year pretty much sewn up, I know he has tons of momentum, so I suppose you could say my picks were contrarian. Noah is great against the pick and roll, and he has been much worse guards in front of him than any of Duncan, Gasol or Hibbert. Any of them are great picks; you saw that I referred to Gasol as the best all-around big man in the game right now. A huge portion of that is what he does defensively.

First Team All-NBA

Chris Paul

Dwyane Wade

Kevin Durant

LeBron James

Tim Duncan

 

Second Team All-NBA

Tony Parker

Russell Westbrook

Kobe Bryant

Carmelo Anthony

Marc Gasol

Third Team All-NBA

Kyrie Irving

Stephen Curry

James Harden

Blake Griffin

Brook Lopez

First Team NBA All-Defense

Avery Bradley

Tony Allen

LeBron James

Tim Duncan

Marc Gasol

 

Second Team NBA All-Defense

Chris Paul

Paul George

David West

Joakim Noah

Roy Hibbert

 

BM: I'm going to go traditional position by position to make this fun. Only admitted switch will be LeBron as first team PF.

First Team All-NBA

PG: Chris Paul

SG: Kobe Bryant

SF: Durant

PF: LeBron James

C: Marc Gasol

Second Team All-NBA

PG: Tony Parker

SG: James Harden

SF: Carmelo Anthony (I know he plays the 4)

PF: Tim Duncan

C: Dwight Howard

Third Team All-NBA

PG: Russell Westbroom

SG: Dwayne Wade

SF: Paul Pierce

PF: Blake Griffin

C: Joakim Noah

First Team NBA All-Defense

G: Tony Allen

G: Andre Iguodala

F: LeBron James

F: Tim Duncan

C: Marc Gasol

 

Second Team NBA All-Defense

G: Paul George

G: Chris Paul

F: Kevin Garnett

F: Larry Sanders

C: Joakim Noah

 

ER: Our teams don't vary too much.

First Team All-NBA
Chris Paul
Kobe Bryant
Kevin Durant
LeBron James
Marc Gasol

Second Team All-NBA
Tony Parker
Dwyane Wade
Carmelo Anthony
Blake Griffin
Tim Duncan

Third Team All-NBA
Russell Westbrook
Kyrie Irving
James Harden
Paul George
Joakim Noah

First Team NBA All-Defense
Avery Bradley
Paul George
LeBron James
Kevin Garnett
Marc Gasol

Second Team NBA All-Defense
Chris Paul
Tony Allen
Andre Iguodala
Larry Sanders
Joakim Noah

This was fun. Let's do this again sometime.